In DRUG REHABILITATION / Tags: addiction, cocaine., help /
Question by Chelsea: Help me end my cocaine addiction?
I’m a former alcoholic. Which I thought was quite the shameful accomplishment for a 19 year old.
I used to be a great kid. I had everything going for me. I had great friends, while everyone I know now got into drugs and alcohol at 14 and below; I had amazing friends that young. I didn’t even think to have a drink or touch drugs, they were a joke to me. I had my first drink when me anhd my friends went camping after prom 2008. And after that I didn’t drink again for a year. I was raped a year later. After that, I drank myself into oblivion for a year, racking up 9 arrests and one time being placed into protective custody (the girl cop felt bad so she did this instead of arresting me), all alcohol related arrests, and eventually put myself into counseling. I don’t drink often now. I do sometimes but after all the counselling I learned to control myself, and deal with my past “trauma”.
its been about 9 months since I have been so called “rehabilitated”. I have a myriad of scars covering my arms and legs and while noone mentions them anymore, I feel like an idiot for my being so obviously self destructive in the past. the scars are an embarassment that are nearly impossible to hide, thanks to the warm climate around here. I recently became so depressed I didn’t know what to do, my abusive ex boyfriend called me offering me coke. I jumped on it and began abusing cocaine. around here it isn’t exactly easy to come by, and it is often heavily cut with heroin. I am addicted to coke, ye, white whatever you want to call it. I also am addicted to ecstasy, and I’m quickly falling into drinking myself to oblivion again. almost every night I blow a lot of coke, pop some x whenhever I can get it and drink. and I do this all by myself, and sometimes go back to cutting when I get fucked up enough.
There are a lot of things in myself that have led me to this point. but I just hate myself at all time unless I’m numbing my brain, so that it can’t remind me how much I hate myself.
I have tried many things. I even go to this youth leadership camp once a year. its amazingly empowering and I can quit my habits for up to month once I come back from california every year. but I always fall back.
I want to end my life horribly.
Is there anything any of you can suggest that would help?
I’m yahoo answer-ing this because I’m THIS fucking desperate.
so whatever, this is a last fucking resort.
rehab and friends and programks do nothing. im gonna ask the internet for a fucking kick.
last resort, come on, make fun of me guys.
I can’t even stop myself now. there is a gram sitting in my purse and looks like I’m gonna go blow it.
to Airtime321:
I have sought professional help.
Obviously I went there first before trying the gaddamn internet,
Therapy helped the alcoholism, and I no longer blame myself for what happened to me. But I am still plagued with this addiction, and have no idea why I harbor this intense hate for myself.
Best answer:
Answer by Mushroom Man
Go to rehab as soon as possible!!!!!!! Trust me. Your life will turn around once you’re out.
What do you think? Answer below!
8 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
Well it’s too bad that empowering youth club is just once a year and not all year round. Maybe you should call them and ask if there is an all year program you can go to. Surely, they must be able to know of some.
I admire you for trying to stay away from drugs, even if you eventually gave in because of what happened to you. But it’s not too late to go back to being sober, I think you just need some help to get there. Hard drugs like this can be tough if not impossible to get off of on your own. Pray to god and your angels for help, we’re all spiritually connected, and I’m sure they’ll help you out.
Go to rehab.
Please, just get help.
Suicide is not the answer.
I’ve learned that….
You CAN get help.
it will be hard, but just remind yourself that there IS hope.
that people love and will support you…even if you dont know them
Once your brain has been changed by addiction and you stop its called the sleeping tigar.. Sleeping and waiting for you to use again, once you use again its only a matter of time that you are a full blown addict even worse than before. Why because you stopped working the program. It will be a daily job now for the rest of your life.
There are many meetings out there like NA, AA I would suggest going to a meeting and stand up and talk. I also have a forum that can support you and it also has lots of info and daily readings.
I feel you have some work to do about the pain that you endeared and are stuffing. I hope to see you there and see you working very hard to find the tools to keep yourself clean.
used to be addicted to heroin alcohol coke and pain pills. i’ve mostly kicked all of that by now still having a bit of problems. :/
stuff that i did to kick the habit would be
i had to go to court appointed NA meetings 5 days a week their i got a sponsor and i know it takes a while and i know it’s kind of embarrassing and seems kinda pointless at first but like if you end up getting one actually CALL them when you feel like using. this helped me a lot.
also went to court appointed anger management. which did kind of suck but i learned a lot of good things from it. used to use when i was angry or something and i’m sure you do as well. so this helped me to not get so angry and in turn i used less.
so the with-drawling. the first stage (the painful throwing up shaking part) isn’t so difficult to deal with its just you know pain. not saying it’s not extremely painful (i’m sure you’ve had a taste of it when you ran out) but if you can just hold up for a while then it will be over before you know it. i got over this by just laying down on the couch all day and watching t.v and sh*t like that for the first two days then i started exercising and stuff after that. you might not feel motivated to do this and it might suck balls for the first little bit but exercise is supposed to release endorphin ess into your brain to make you feel good. not as good as drugs but still better then coming down. the second stage (thoughts of “one hit wont do anything” and “i can handle it” or “i’ve been doing so well i deserve it”)is the most difficult part of quitting by far. this part os the time where you really need to have sponsor to be able to talk to and stuff like that. family and friends who haven’t gone through this will never understand fully so don’t expect them to not say things like “just quit” or something. GET SPONSOR!
also the last thing is find a reason to quit. even if it’s stupid or whatever it does help out.
anyway if you can’t find a sponsor you can e-mail me or call me or whatever you need to do i don’t know you but i know how this sh*t goes and i want to help you out. good luck.
All you can do is to say “NO” to every temptations specially with addictive drugs. Stand firm when you “No”. It’s all your decision if you really want to stop your addiction. Everybody can tell you what to do but, it’s your willingness to stop and change will determine your success.
Simple story for your thoughts.
Wise Boy: Father, I have a bird in my hands. Is this bird alive or dead?
Preacher: (In deep thoughts, “When I say it’s alive then this boy will press the bird’s head so it will die. If I say, it’s dead then he will do nothing to keep the bird alive”.) The preacher then answered, “The fate of the bird are in your hands. Whatever you do will determine the life or death of the bird”.
Don’t hate yourself for what you are now. Hate the addiction that you are in now so you’ll stop it. Remember, when you hate someone or something you just have to get rid it. You can’t get rid of yourself so don’t hate yourself.
This answer is only if you are truly desperate and you really need to be prepared to make a change in yourself.
Reading what you said, it seems that your addictions started with your experience of being raped. Im not a professional or anything and i might sound heartless for saying this buy, if you havent already you need to move on from that experience since (im assuming) this is the main cause of it. Since you are only 19 i suggest you dont do this until you are older and can support yourself bu,t you should get away from the environment your in (and again only if you are super desperate) and start your life over. If you dont want to do any of those (which i suggest), meet new people that have a positive attitude and can make a positive influence in your life. Dont be afraid to tell your problems to someone you know that can help you. The once a year youth things are a good start but try going to more than one and to a church regulary and participate in their activities. Whatever you do, DO NOT resort to suicide, you only have one life to live. I hope my advice doesnt offend you or anyone reading this but, I wish you all the best.
A previous answer follows, modified for you: Detox & rehab, but you need emotional distress tolerance techniques* & preferably a course of EMDR therapy, and learn, and employ the EFT in the meantime. Addiction is addressed at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/6.html Note page Q about: “The signature cluster of symptoms for PTS … Self harm/cutting; see pages 1, & A. Try the free hypnosis; join some support groups; go there when the urge to use strikes. Go to: http://vaonlinesupport.org/support.html & http://www.rapevictimadvocates.org/ & http://www.rape-victim-support.com/ & http://www.pandys.org/ & http://www.rainn.org/ & http://www.aftersilence.org & http://www.rapehelp.com/ & http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk Call (USA)1 800 656 HOPE and/or People Against Rape (USA) on 1 800 877 7252. View http://www.coolnurse.com/hotline.htm (US freecalls).
Go to the police and report it, so that an entry will be made in their computer database, and anyone else making such a claim in future will be believed. Otherwise, he may think he can continue to get away with it, and in many cases, even worse! It may help to take a close friend, or relative along. Doing what you reasonably can about it can be an important first step in the recovery process. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms.
For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_15.html Read: * Workbooks that offer good coping skills are: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley, & Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual (a DBT Workbook). & “After Silence: Rape & My Journey Back” by Nancy Venable Raine, & “Telling: A Memoir of Rape and Recovery” by Patricia Weaver Francisco, & “Quest for Respect: A Healing Guide for Survivors of Rape” by Linda Braswell, & “Don’t Move” ~ PenĂ©lope Cruz, Sergio Castellitto, Claudia Gerini, and Natalia Barcelò, & “Rape” by Marcus van Heller, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. .
Others said: This helped me. Write a letter to the perpetrator. Start with just the facts what happened 2nd how it made you feel then last what you would like to do to him/them(you know what I mean). Put it away and take it out and read it once and awhile until it makes you so sick you can’t even read it any more. It is now time to get rid of this part of you life and move on. You can get rid of it anyway you’d like. I’m going to go to the closest spot to where it happened and burn it. I think the best part of it all is when you write what you would do to them. I hope this helps and be strong. It wasn’t your fault.
View the post at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html about self esteem. FORGIVENESS:
“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves” – Joshua Loth Leibman. Books: Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, & “The Twelve Steps of Forgiveness by Paul Ferrini and Pia Mackenzie, & Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life by Sidney B. Simon and Suzanne Simon, & “Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve” by Lewis B. Smedes. Get through your fear of forgiveness, from your bookstore, or amazon.com. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% – 20% highly so, and 15% – 20% aren’t much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has 2 on it that you could click on and check out; ultimately, you need to forgive yourself AND him, or you hold onto that hurt. You may be either paying lip service, or only truly forgiving one party.