In ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT / Tags: alcoholic, b.f., kids, leave /
Question by tornado: How do I leave my alcoholic b.f., dad to my kids?
We have 2 YOUNG children. He’s an alcoholic, like 6+ beers, and 1/3 btl booze per day. I work, but don’t have much $. He pays the bills, so I stay. I want to leave, I want a better environment for my kids. I am not in love w/ hime anymore, but I will never hate him, cuz he is a great man, just w/ a problem he can’t seem to quit. I,m scared to go cuz I don’t know how I will get by, and how I will be able to move w/out him getting drunk and mean in the process. my family is out of state. I am scared and need some advice.
Best answer:
Answer by Bob
ask parents for help. Move thier for a while to get away.
Add your own answer in the comments!
17 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
there are places around that will help woman in these situations where they need to get out of the house but can’t do it on their own.
Check your local listings to find one, there they’ll supply you with a temporary place to stace while helping you find a better job and a new place to live.
1. Try and get him to go to rehab and admit that he has a problem
2. If he has family who live near you, get their help in helping him
3. Tell him either the booze goes or you go
4. Make a clean break from this destructive man if he cant clean himself up, you do deserve better
It’s better to come from a broken family than to be living in one. Please promise me you will find a better environment for your KIDS. They deserve the best, and you haven’t described the best life so far.
It is o.k. if you have to move out of state in order to get the best care for your kids. You are the responsible one. Do not make excuses for this man. He may have fathered your children, but he needs to be responsible for their needs right now. If he can’t, then it is your sole obligation.
Do whatever needs to be done for the kids.
Move back home. Find a womens coalition in your area. They will help find you affordable housing….and they may get him the help he needs to quit drinking.
There should be a support group in your area for AA. Contact them and explain your dilemma. Also, contact your parents and explain the situation to them too.
You need to remove the children from this situation. It is not a good one and will only get worse unless he gets help with his problem.
If you don’t love him, then it’s time to end it. Remember to file for support money from him for the children too. Good luck.
I feel you pain . hop on the bus and go dont look back
first of all you need a back to go to friends or family, maybe u need to go out of state with your family and start over again. It happen I am in that process myself.
If you stay, you will DESTROY your children. Leave him now before your youth and looks are gone. Go to a safe place, to any good friend or relative and have him think about what he is missing,
It is terrible for the kids to grow up with an alcoholic parent. As they grow up they will be humiliated by the situation at home, and will probably not spend much time there, [which might get them into trouble,] plus he is a bad role model. Also as they get bigger they will be judgemental, of course, and he may get abusive. He is destroying your lives.
I would say start saving and w/ in a year you can leave.
Just a suggestion, but you need to talk to a professional like your family doctor to get some help with your situation. You are right in that you need a better environment for your kids. Your b.f. needs professional help also and needs to stop drinking. There are agencies out there that can help you and you need to reach out to them for our sake and the future of your kids.
Don’t wait and think it will get better by itself. Living with an alcoholic who continues to drink is no kind of life.
I wish you and your kids all the best. You can do it!
He’s an alcoholic, mean, “Great” man? That’s unusual.
Tell him: The drinks or me. Choose!
Plan on moving out of state with your children.
Many alcoholics cannot and will not stop drinking until they get slapped in the face with reality. You cannot change anything by staying with him. He will only get worse.
You need to show guts. Show that you have boundaries as to how much you will take. And STOP making excuses for him.
He is not GREAT. He is self-absorbed and not a responsible parent. He is teaching young children that it is ok to squander money on self-medication.
If he got hit by a truck tomorrow. Where will you be? You aren’t married. You’d be moving back to family is my guess.
Think of your kids first, yourself second and the drunk ….not at all.
You moving away will be the best thing for him. You already know how he would react. Just get the process started. He might finally realize how much you mean to him and he will seek the help he needs to get sober.
You aren’t helping him by hanging around.
Baby when its time to go nothing Will stand in your way. Try talking to him to make him see what he is risking by his actions
im sorry but you have to leave him. your children are more important.
find the place in your town that offers AA or similar meetings as they will have info to help you get our, hide for awhile and get you started on your own. I volunteer for a group that takes in women and kids who just need a safe place while figuring out the next step. the last mom and toddler that stayed with us was given bus fare to her out of state family. Every town has people to help you. REACH OUT
Find a safe home for woman and kids. In our town it is called interval house or catholic family services.. heck you can call any abuse help line and they will direct you to a local chapter. They will help with finding a place to live and financial assistance
You can not let your children grow up in this environment. You have to get him to quit on your conditions..you & kids living somewhere else then once he is sober for more that 3 months and in counselling you will join him in counsel and slowly get back together
Pack up and move out. Then go file for child support for the children. Then start looking for a job. If you don’t want your children brought up in that environment you’re going to have to leave.
Love him a little more and motivate him to be moderate in drinking, if necessary in consultation with a professional.