Question by Stacie S: Husband of 6 years, 2 kids and alcoholic issues. Now gone?
My husband to whom I’ve put more trust than maybe I should’ve is now out of the picture. We tried to work things out but he basically felt his drinking wasn’t the major issue that has caused a huge amount of neglect, distrust, hurt, anger and so on. I beleive he was unable to see the big picture. When I said I was done listening to the excuses, and I would call him back, he has just ignored us (me and his kids-2,&5) and isn’t envolved anymore. Should I just gnore him until he comes around?
Best answer:
Answer by b0redgal
he doesn’t deserve to be a part of your and your kids’ lives. ignore him until he seeks therapy.
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Yes I would have thought so. The thing is that it isn’t that he is unable to see the big picture – it’s that he doesn’t want to. Because that would mean giving up the demon.
One thing you can’t do is rely on an alcoholic, so if he is one, don’t as it will just to lead to your being hurt.
He needs to know that it’s you and your kids or the drink.
Good luck.
He is an alcoholic and alcoholics are good at blaming other people for their issues. You need to stay away from him until he decides to get help for him. It would be better for the kids to not see him, than to see him in his worst possible state. You can try to help, but he’ll only get better when he decides he is ready. Good luck to you.
He is in way over his head. Until he is ready to admit the alchohol is the problem, you are better off without him. Ignore him until he comes around, although prepare yourself, he may not come back around.
I would ignore him period, unless he is willing to admit that he has a drinking problem there is nothing you can do for him.. IF you stay than you and the children are being dragged down with him..
Don’t you feel that you and the children deserve better? Cause I certainly do believe that you do deserve a better life for yourself, especially for the children.
What kind of a role model do you believe the father is showing to the children? This will stay with them for life unless you get them out of this environment and show them that this is not proper. These children need security and a loving home life, not someone who is always drunk and does not care for them but is more interested in himself and a drink.
Best of Luck
Don’t get involved with it. Just ignore him. It’s actually best for him that you do this. If he’s allowed to still be involved with his family, then he’s not losing anything. Alcoholics have to normally hit rock bottom to change. Everything they love has to be ripped from them to consider sobriety. It’s pretty sad but someday he’ll get clean, “find God”, and ask for your forgiveness. I’ve seen WAY too much of this.
It’s all about him sweetie and not you. I know it hurts but you are better off with him gone and taking his bottle to. You can never count on anything out of an alcoholic except his love for the drink. It mentally warps a persons mind and deadens their emotions. They are selfish , and self centered and there is no security of faithfulness in them being husbands, fathers, or maintaining responsibilities. We get so caught up inside of them that we forget who we even are to ourselves. One minuet you are up with them and the next you are down and there is never any consistency or stability in anything you have with them. Stay strong and keep your vision straight on the road in front of you and just keep moving on. I was married for 25 years to an alcoholic and done everything I possibly could to save him and all those years were for nothing! I divorced him and now am happily married and I wish I had left my ex sooner. At the time I felt just horrible but he gave me no choice.
The alcoholic will always make excuses and tell you ..that you are making a big thing out of nothing… even if he only has one drink and it is causing a problem then it needs to be address…if he does not address his problem then my advice is to get out now…believe me you are in for a very unhappy life if he does not sort this out now…you will spend the rest of your life trying to sort this out…don’t play any games with him at all… games don’t work when it comes to dealing with type of alcoholic problem..you will become filled with anger,distrust and resentment…which does not make for a happy contented life for you and the children.