Question by Cynthia: I am 30 I have 3 kids I went on a 5 year drug run and recently finished rehab?
I live in california and my kids with there dad in Oregon.. I feel horrible for not being there for my kids.. I dont want to be with there dad.. He wants our family back together . So do the kids .. Do i get back together with him and move up there? Just to make up for what i did. Im afraid i will go crazy.. I love my kids and want them and im sober but i dont want him .. What is the right thing to do?
since we split up he has had a child who is now 3 and every time we gat back together i relapse.. Im on felony probation i cant move up there and i wouldnt ask him to move here thats to much… should i be with him just to be with my kids or is that just not fair to anyone.. My po might transfer my case but i have no where to go up there
Best answer:
Answer by Kayla Gregg
Do what makes you happy, If your sober, and don’t want to mend your relationship… Try to get partial custody! You can do it!
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4 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
What the f U CK is wrong with him? you leave for 5 years and he wants you back. Hes an idiot. & no dont just go be with him and make things worse and mess up your childrens life all over again. how about you move closer to them, ( like any good mom would do) and just be there. support them buy them things… and dont missing out on their life.
in our country if the marriage is over automatically the children has to be with the mother no matter what. in different scenario in case the marriage fails because of mother’s fault and its proven by law then it gonna be given to the father’s custody. but in general it always in the mother’s custody.
in your case you should have agreement that summer maybe with him or during school days maybe under your custody. so this is a matter of communication between you and your hubby. i would suggest go to the nearest family counselling center for further info about parenting
As usual, your first and only real concern is for yourself. Do your children a favor and leave them where they are. You say you love your kids, and I’m sure you do in some twisted, limited way that benefits you. Why your ex-husband would want to get back with you is way beyond my ability to understand. Do either of you know anything about how to be normal adults with children to take care of? Quit choosing drugs over your children. Don’t you get it? Get a job and send them clothing and money to help get them through school. Buy them the things they need at Christmas. Behave like a healthy person and put someone other than yourself first. Try being a mom.
If you only recently finished rehab, you’re not ready to have your kids. Stop thinking about what you want and consider what they need. If they have a stable home and are happy with their dad, then don’t get in the way of that.
Stay where you are. Go to your meetings. Meet with your counselor. Get a job. Talk to your kids on the phone.