In ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT / Tags: Alcoholism, children, come, disease, from, help, life, point, seperated /
Question by Cyn: I have come to a point in life where the disease of alcoholism has seperated me from my children. Help!?
I am in AA, and I am approaching 3 mos. clean. I am enrolled in parenting, as well. My visitation was suspended as my disease caused me to be “in and out” of their lives. I have been to therapy. I am in need of legal advice, as to my rights and individual situation(s). Any counsel reommendations would be appreciated. Other than that I will give time, time. I just would like to know of any thoughts or facts that could help me reach my goal of being reunited with them.
God bless and thanks,
Cyn
Best answer:
Answer by ellytheorber
Firstly Cyn congratulations on staying clean for 3 months, getting with the AA program and parenting classes. All 3 are very big steps and you are now moving in the right direction.
Over here in the UK we have Citizen advice bureaus, not sure where you are but are there any free legal advice bureaus where you live perhaps run by charities?
Worth checking with your local council…don’t yer think?
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Hey Cyn, How are you? First of all..Congratualtions on staying clean for three months..Im sure your kids will be very proud of you! I don’t know how old they are but Im 25 and grew up with a parent that had the very same disease. My dad is 43 and will be spending time in jail for an alcohol related arrest. He had always been in and out while I was growing up…and because he let the disease take control, he ended up divorced and seperated from his kids…He has been struggling for years with this..and has realized the time that he had lost with us when we were younger..I would like for my dad to be clean and happy. He can’t go back and change things now..but I still love him and care about him. Take care of yourself Cyn..You have everything you need to fight your disease and you have the love of your kids. They want their momma clean and happy..and I know you wouldn’t want them to carry on your habbits into their adult life…so keep following the road to recovery and in time you should be reunited with your kids. It’s tuff on your loved ones to see someone they care about go through so much pain and because of this they share your pain. If you take care of yourself..eventually you will be able to take care of others. Sorry Im going on and on..but your situation really hits close to home with me and I wish you the best. Also, If you ever need anyone to talk to or support your welcome to my e-mail.
You already know what to do. And you’re doing it very well. It’s entirely natural to be impatient, and I feel for you, I really do.
Time will help you to heal this wound. But being there for your kids when they give you the chance to, that’s what will fix this problem.
I feel your pain. Their was a time in my life though only brief when I was separated from my children. It takes alot of legwork and even more patience. The most important thing you need to do right now is Just for today don’t drink and stay Sober!! Every day you do that is one more day closer to be reunited with your children. Their is no greater pain than being separated from your children, but you have to remember you are doing the right thing. You also need to go to the court and petition for visitation rights and also for a guardian. This will start the process of being able to see them. It may be best even if painful for you for them to be in a stable environment with the other parent till you are better. Good Luck and God Bless. And remember as long as we continue to do the next right thing things do get better.
It is so sad that alcoholism is one of the deadliest problems facing our society today and worse some people accept it as a acceptable lifestyle. Many people claim that alcoholism is a disease and not a moral problem, that alcoholics need a doctor and not a pastor. But in reality, before alcoholism became a disease it was a sin. In scripture it says that drunkards shall not inherit the kingdom of God, ( see 1 Corinthians 6:10). Some people are beginning to realize the destruction that alcohol is causing in our society and are trying to control the problem. Alcohol numbs the conscience to a point where we lose our sense of morals and values. The dulling of one’s mind and conscience is immoral and is against God’s plan for humanity. When you take away the unique qualities of a man, what do you have left? Only an animal. Most people use alcohol as a substitute for what they lack in their own personalities, as a way to escape from their problems or simply because their friends are doing it. People use alcohol to give them courage and confidence. Christ promises to help us overcome any problems in our lives. You can receive everything you need to cope through God’s promises. Jesus said,” I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” ( John 10:10). Believers have been set free in Christ and enjoy all the fullness that comes from the Christian Life ( see John 1:16). We have no need for alcohol’s temporary help because we have the Holy Spirit to guide and control our lives.
It appears that you have come to the lowest point in your life and I understand how you feel. Although, you may feel that you are in the middle of the darkest point of your life right now, there is hope and it comes from Jesus Christ and His word. The Bible is full of great promises, ( 11 Peter 1:4). Instead of doubting God and His promises, we’re commanded by the Lord Jesus to ” have faith in God” ( Mark 11:22 see verse 23). Jesus’s message was, ” Have faith in God and do not doubt in your heart.”
See ( Luke 12:29,31). When your going through the trials that you are now, you need a power that’s greater than your own. Jesus wants us to pay close attention to the spiritual things and He promises to take care of the physical things in our life.
Why tinker with destruction, horror and a broken-ness in your life when it is not necessary? Why do you insist on setting a bad example for your children and possibly lead them into bad habits when they could be spared from it.
When you give your heart to Jesus Christ, you will be born again, you will become one with Christ and you will be spiritually alive. I honestly believe that you are a slave to your own self right now, but thanks to what Jesus did for us on the cross, he made a way for us to be free from human bondage. Sin, which is Satin in disquise will have no control over you anymore once you receive Jesus Christ as your personal saviour. But satan knows that he can block your effectiveness as a Christian if he can make you believe that you are a product of your past and controlled by your bad habits. He can confuse and blind you with his lies, so that you cannot believe that you are free in Christ.
Whatever is your dark side right now, look in faith to God who loves you. Don’t look for answers, in stead, look for a loving and helping hand from an understanding friend, Jesus. Focus all on Jesus and your desires and goals will come through Him. Do not hold anything back from God, but rather hand over the reins of your life to Him and allow Him to take care of you. I promise everything will work out accordingly if you let go and let God.
I seriously recommend that you purchase this book, the advice potential is very very helpful to get rid of any bondages that are holding you captive. ” The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson” This book will help you overcome negative thoughts, irrational feelings, and very bad habits like alcoholism and so on.