In ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT / Tags: children, drink, parent, Parenting, Supervision, toLet, Under, underage /
Question by Graham: Is it Bad Parenting toLet Underage Children Drink Under Parent Supervision?
I am a parent with a 15 and a 16 year old.
I am of the impression that letting my chidren drink under stricked supervision is alright. Obviously, since I’m in the US it illegal. I really don’t see anything wrong with letting my teens have a glass of wine with dinner and have a couple beers while watch a football game. First of all, I don’t give them enought to get drunk and even if I did, they are not driving with alcohol, period. Not if it’s one sip or a whole 12 pack. I accually think parents should let their kids drink in their own home with supervision for a number of reasons
1. Shows kids that acohol is nothing special
2. Prevents binge drinking
3. Lets children learn their limits
4. Causes an end to curiousity that could result in them getting killed
I also let them drink out of the house under very, very strick guidlines.
1. NEVER drink and drive
2. NEVER get in a car with someone who’s been drinking
3. Call me if you need a ride
Is this parenting bad, in your opinion
Obviously, just because I let my kids drink doesn’t mean all other house rules go to shit. I have a good enough relationship with my kids that when I tell them to call me if they need to, they’ll call if they need to. While I am a very understanding parent, if I tell my chidren absolutely no drinking and no driving, thats exactly what I expect to get. I’ll even give them the number to a local cab company on nights I know there going to be partying, like New Years Eve. And I defentially explain that not all families are like ours, as in you can’t go to Bill’s house and pop open a beer. Those are just my opinions, and I obviously want to know yours since I asked the question. PS I respect all of your answers UNTIL the point that you insult me like the one user did who apparently called a Yale graduate “A 14 year old kid who doesn’t know how to type,” or something of that nature.
Best answer:
Answer by Surprise!!
I think you’re right because if you make it tabu then they will want it more and will be less likely to come to you if they get into trouble.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
14 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
ok first its not illegal. if they are in your home and have a glass or get plastered is legal as long as it is at their parents house and they do not leave. my husband is a cop. if they were in public or anyone elses house yes its illegal. my parents let my have wine and i have never had a problem with partying or anything. it teaches them quantities. i totally agree with you.
If you’re asking for it, in my opinion, you are teaching your children that it is okay to ignore the law and that’s not cool. Period.
No actually. I think its a very good way to teach your kids and good for them because they arent wondering so much what its like.
did you really just mention your illegal? if your kidding, it doesnt sound like it.. funny.. and if you arent, why would post that on the internet..? whats that got to do with anything??..
Eeeek! Scary question here, but as a teenager, I had these same guidelines. There were times that I got away with pushing my limits, like getting in cars with people that had been drinking. I knew better, but being a teen, I definately didn’t have the best judgement. To answer your question, your the parent, it’s your choice. I don’t believe that I will do this for my children simply because I was the teen with these privelages and saw what happened behind the scenes when my parents weren’t around. But at the same time, I stayed out of trouble my entire life, and don’t drink now because of it.
Basically, if you feel that this is working for you, and this is what you prefer, then go for it.
i agree. but don’t let that other person fool you. it is illegal. cops just usually just turn they’re heads the other way because everyone does it. its not a big deal and if you let your kids realize its not a big deal in a safe environment then more power to you! the big thing is getting them to call you when they need you. and not try to get home some other way…
yes, its fine if the teenagers are 17 or younger but if they are 18 and drinking in your house… and get caught.. OMG. the parent is going to be ticketed for serving minors… i know this cuz it happened to me. otherwise yeah i see a point in giving your kids a drink here or there.. but thats it.
No you are doing everything right… both my brother and I (college age now) were given alcohol the day we were brought home from the hospital, it was always available, never locked and never hidden. If we wanted some we took some. Our parents were never carefree about it and used it responsibly and we took on the same ideas. I drink moderately now and I know my limit so I don’t get wasted like my friends that didn’t grow up this way do. And my brother won’t even touch it unless it’s a special dinner with the whole family.
On the flip side I was never allowed to dye my hair and as soon as i moved out that was the first thing I did.
So thanks for showing good parenting skills.
EDIT: there is some chatter about it being illegal… I don’t know about the laws where you live but where I live if you are serving to your own kids and are in your own home it is not illegal as long as they do not get ‘drunk’ and wander into public areas.
personally i agree with what you are doing but my husband would kill me. we are not to encourage drinking even though I do and I am underage as well. I dont think it is bad because not only are you teaching the things you listed above but there is responsibility. i think its ok, my mom did the same with me and I plan to do the same with my kids, hopefully i wont be with my husband when that time comes, hehehe, you are doing a good job!
It really depends on just how much your kids respect the rest of your rules. For example, my aunt let me drink at that age. And it did show me that it wasnt anything too special. I still abused it when I was 18 and 19 though.
However, if you let them drink at home, they are going to think its alright to drink else where.
That same aunt let her son and his friends drink. They are currently 18 and have been drinking with her permission for about 5 years. They didnt just sit at home and have a good time. In their drunkenness, they would sneak out, get dragged home by the cops. They have taken all of our cars out for joy rides while drunk. They have stolen alcohol from the liquer cabinet and replaced it with water (literally, they drank a whole 5th of vodka one night and replaced it with water.
For some kids, it does do the things you listed. But for others, it creates a problem that you soon cant control.
I personally, fully support the current drinking age and do NOT support giving under age people alcohol. Now, some people call me hiporctical because I drank at that age and abused it later and would drive and all that. But I am very lucky I was never hurt or killed others. And its that kind of irresponsible thinking (oh, I can drive drunk, it wont happen to me) that I support the current drinking age.
I wont jump to calling you a bad parent as your intentions are good. But I dont think its very smart.
honestly, i agree with you. i was never allowed to drink so as soon as my parents left town for a weekend, i got drunk. i have been drunk twice in the last year and have been drinking three times. but i intend to do the same thing you do and i am quite sure my fiance would agree. we are halfway through our first pregnancy.
it shows them you do not care about keeping the law.
I don’t think its a good idea because if they are drinking at home they are probaly drinking with friends. My brother died in a car crash after drinking at a friends house and he was always told the same thing, call if you need a ride, etc. Children dont always make the right choice. It’s not something I would allow my children to do.
as long as there not drunk then its fine
As long as you are not allowing other people’s children to drink in your house without their knowledge/consent I think its totally fine. My mom started letting us have a glass of wine with dinner when we were all 16 (my brother still has 1.5 years to go). It showed us that alcohol really is nothing special. Taking away the mystery and “taboo” of underage drinking is a great way to teach your kids to be responsible with alcohol.
I’m 19 and in college now and while I go to parties I rarely ever find myself drinking an excessive amount.