Question by Globe: Ladies: Would you marry a guy who couldn’t have kids?
I had a vasectomy at an early age (I don’t have any kids) because of some serious mental illness, including one suicide, in several members of one side of my family, as well as alcoholism in other members. I didn’t want to risk passing these traits onto a child of mine.
I am looking to settle down with a woman I really care about, and am willing to adopt a child (her choice of sex), but am curious how many women would be open to this setup knowing they couldn’t have a child “of their own”?
I don’t mean insemination; I am referring to adopting a kid from Russia or China or somewhere. I have siblings that were adopted from overseas and I think it’s a noble cause.
Also, I know I’m wrong but it seems like all the truly great women (caring, etc.) I meet want to extend that compassion to having kids. I’m not meeting too many women I like that are against having kids.
Best answer:
Answer by I have CRAMPAGE! (owie)
If I love him and am sure this is the one I wanna be with forever I don’t give a damn about anything else
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081102223728AABCrGF
What do you think? Answer below!
16 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
I’m not having kids so it would be fine by me. My husband was adopted & should we change our minds later on, we can always adopt. I have girlfriends that don’t want kids either. Not every woman feels that it’s necessary to make their life whole.
Well, it could still be her own. It just wouldn’t be yours. The question is how comfortable is she knowing that her child can’t be yours both. She could be inseminated with donor sperm and carry her child without your DNA.
Basically, if I had know my husband couldn’t have kids of his own, but he still wanted to have kids I would have been fine with it and either adopted or gone the donor route.
Personally I would imagine most people would respect your decision. It is a great gift to raise a child and that bond is not dependent on blood lines. All the best to you and your future.
Heck yes! If I found out one of us was sterile it would be disappointing but I would marry him anyway because I only want to be with him and so many worse things could happen… like you could get run over by a car and not get to marry her and so you should spend every moment together that you can.
i would definitely marry a guy that couldn’t have kids, specially when the guy is honest on the reason. Plus, the relationship should be based on if you love the guy or not, not on what the guy can’t or can do.
you are fine, you will find a gal who will understand you choice [:
well, it depends really, i mean right now i’ll go with the same answer as the one before me, that if he is really mine and we love each other then i want to be with him forever, but then again, thigns change including people’s likes and dislikes.. so maybe one day i will hate myself for settling down with you coz you can’t give me a child… you know what i mean??
anyway, i think it would be better if you know, you are able to have kids..there’s a possibility that they will not inherit your bad traits… but then again it depends on the woman..
but adoption is always an option..
Honestly, it will be hard but not impossible. More likely a career woman who is too busy herself to think about kids, so if that’s your type, you’re in luck!
Unless you want a woman who already has kids, but then there’s always that other daddy around.(j/k)
You could also do the invitro thing. I don’t think it should matter to a woman, especially one that truly loves you!
Please answer this one:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnCEcHiUm5xUslg63eobz13sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20081102112257AAW943R
It’s no different than if it was the other way around. If she loves you she will want to marry you. You can love kids that you adopt just as much as if they were your biological kids.
You did the right thing. And there are lot’s of kids just waiting to be adopted.You could consider other options if she really wants to carry a child such as artificial insemination. But adoption gives a child a home in which they will be loved for their whole life. It’s a very good thing.
Married a guy who was infertile.
What a relief! No more birth control.
The we had a baby using a sperm donor who matched his picture and build.
He’s a great father.
Consider allowing her the choice to adopt or conceive.
There are infertile women out there.
There are women who think there are enough children needing homes.
Sorry about the family history. You seem fine.
hey i got news for you, there aint a man out there that can have kids, yet
Why could they not have a child of HER own?
I wouldn’t do it! I mean you took this in your own hands a doctor did not say you had to have this done! It’s very selfish on your part I think!
so, why wouldn’t you let ur wife have a baby with a sperm bank????
When a woman meets someone she loves and would like to share her life with, she will accept the man she loves on any condition, even this one.
I personally would not mind to adopt, had my boyfriend not be able to have kids of his own. Adopting a kid and bringing the kid up together will still be the same for me as if the kid were my own – and that is the true meaning of having a family!
I would. I’m married. But if my husband was sterile, then yes. There are children out there who need homes. Have you considered dating someone who is already a mother?
i don’t see why not. there is always adoption, sperm donors, surrogate mothers, etc. and if she is so hell bent on having a child that is hers AND yours, you can always have your vasectomy reversed.
Yes I don’t have any problems with that. I already have one child and don’t want anymore. Plus my hubby already has two kids from a previous marriage. So his baby making days are long over.
Of course! Two people are a family too! They are out there, I was one of them. Been married 13 happy years. You can have it too.