Question by coca_cola_country_girl: My ex is in drug rehab and wants the kids to come visit. Do i have to let them go? i am in Texas.?
My ex husband is in drug rehab and wants me to either bring the kids who are 5 and 8 up there to see him or allow his mother to bring them. This is his 3rd stint in rehab that i am aware of. The kids havent seen him since Christmas eve. I personally do not believe that is an environment for them to be in. They dont know that he is an addict. I am trying to avoid the questions this will bring up by them that I dont think they will understand.
Best answer:
Answer by italienne
Not seeing their father is worse.
Add your own answer in the comments!
9 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
Unless it’s part of a court order, I think you can refuse as long as he’s in there.
I agree, kid’s don’t need to deal with adult issues.
Use the phone. 5 & 8 is way too young to deal with this. Assuming you have custody, tell your ex to get clean, then he can see the kids
Drug rehab is not a place for kids to be. I would absolutely not bring them Unless you are forced to with a court order.
Yes let them go it will help the father
Surely every court in or out of Texas will support you on this one that until the dad is clean and out of rehab your kids should not have to see him. Rehab is no place for children surely!
I do not feel that is a place for the kids best interest and I think the courts would feel the same way, when he is clean and sober then the kids can enjoy him and him enjoy the kids and that is what they need more then to see daddy in rehab.
Let them talk to him on the phone. Help them make cards to send him to encourage him. Simply tell them daddy is ill and in the hospital – its the truth and all they need to know right now.
I’d probably resist taking them there too, but most such places have designated areas for visiting that are pleasant and he wouldn’t be allowed visitors if he wasn’t past the worst of it. If you are really uncomfortable with it, don’t let them go, but consider that maybe its an incentive he needs badly to complete his rehab.
Your ex might never be clean and straight, but for your children’s sake, if it would help him stay the course, maybe you should let him see them. But if you decide to let them go, I’d take them myself, not send them with grandma.
Mine probably won’t be the popular answer here, but my MIL was in a psychiatric hospital for a while and I had to decide about taking my little stepdaughters and my toddler son to see her. It did her a world of good and it was actually nicer than a visit at a regular hospital would have been. Unfortunately, we can’t protect our kids from the negatives in life forever and I believe they are wiser in the long run if we use situations like this to teach them how to handle the bad stuff when it comes.
You don’t ‘Have’ to..but what would be the right thing? There are various things you can tell your children,’Daddy’s not well-he’s there to get better’, for example.Because that IS the truth..addiction is an illness.And at least he is trying to get well, trying to kick his habit..it rarely happens after 1 ‘stint’..it can take numerous attempts to kick addiction.I wouldn’t let your ex mother-in-law take them..I think if they were to go see him you should be there with them. Ask to speak to the rehab workers, ask them if other patients children visit, seek reassurance. I was addicted to marijuana for many years, and struggled with alcohol and other drugs too.I went to rehab probably 5 times.. At each one my children were brought to see me, they were never never at any risk from other patients, many of which were missing their own children and doing their best to recover, for themselves-and their kids.My children were my #1 motivation to get well, and I am happy to say I have been clean and sober 7 months.It was very hard on my children, but thank God I am now able to make it up to them…I don’t think I would’ve been able to do it on my own.