In DRUG REHABILITATION / Tags: Control, daughter, Hateful, teenage /
Question by : My Hateful Teenage daughter is out of control. What can I do?
I am a single mother who lives with my boyfriend and we are beside ourselves dealing with my rebellious and hateful teenage daughter.
By age 13 she was OUT OF CONTROL. And it as gotten worse ever since. She was out with her friends, drinking, doing drugs and having unprotected sex. She screams at me , calls me a stupid whore and tells me how much she hates me every day. She blames me for bringing her into this world and for her not having a father. She calls my boyfriend a loser and curses at us constantly.
She will be 15 soon and already has a reputation in our town for being a bad person and a troublemaker. I do not know what to do or where this all came from.
This started in middle school. She was suspended for giving the boys blojobs in the bathroom , fighting , skipping class and finally expelled when caught with marijuana at school. The school refused to take her back and we transferred here to an ESE school where she started meeting worse people and from there it all went down.
This is really all her friends fault. You should see the people she calls her friends. They are teenage drug users, punks and losers. Many have been arrested and dropped out of school and use drugs. She is making all D’s and F’s in school and refuses to do her homework and is always sent to ARC!.
She was arrested last year with her friends at the mall for stealing and we have been in court ever since. She is also now started going to clubs and drinking and having sex. She say she has a fake ID but I can’t understand how she is able to get in because she looks like a teenage girl! I call every club in town and they say are sorry there is nothing they can do. This is thier fault these club owners should be put in jail!!! Nobody is enforcing these under age laws. Even when I was young they had fake ID’s. I had my daughter at 17 so I remember it was not that long ago.
We also caught her partying smoking pot in the house with her friends. They skipped school came TO OUR HOUSE and used drugs. After that I AGAIN put her in a county funded drug rehab center for teens she caught having sex with one of the boys in the dormatory. Within 2 weeks she was back to her ways.
Her grandmother (who has also been helping us out) got me a phone listner I have been listening into her phone calls when she is at the house and I am horrified! When I confronted her she found out and we had a huge fight she assulted me and my boyfriend had to restain her. She ran away from the house for 2 weeks and we could not find her. Finally the police brought her home. She was staying with 3 older boys in an apartment!
There is much more that I could talk about but am I not going to go into it. I will have a neverus break down and cry. I somtimes think this is my fault and wish I never had her. She blames me for not having a father and is very hateful towards me when this one subject comes up. Her father did not want me to have her and when I refused to get an abortion he broke up with me and does not speak to us. He only pays his child support.This is not my fault. I try and explain to her and she doesnt listen.
Is thier any other parents going through this please help. What are we to do? I cannot just kick her out. I dont know what to do. I want to help my daughter but she is out of control. Please help me I need advice. I do not know what else to do. 8(
Best answer:
Answer by Lee
Sounds like she could use a spanking. If she acts like a child, she should be treated like one.
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Maybe take some time off from your boyfriend. And worry about your daughter. I bet her actions are really from pain that she is feeling. For whatever reasons. For not having a dad, for not having a mother.
Actually you may try getting to seeing Dr Phil or Maury it may work
devil child much?
sorry, she isn’t one, but i had to say it.
seek a child psychologist or a family counselor immediately. she had no respect whatsoever calling you a whore. how rude.
ooh, ask this in the parenting section. they’ll help you a lot.
discipline her!! send her to military school! if all else fails kick her out
time for a therapist
I’m so sorry about all of this thats happening to you.
Honestly, have you thought about sending herr to milatary school?
As stupid as it sounds, they WILL fix her up.
But other than that, after reading EVERYTHING she did , you might as well kick her out.
wow that really sucks.
honestly, i would take her to a corectional facility or something.
Why is she allowed out of the house? I would have her on lock down…no cell phone, no privacy, no phone time, no friends, no nothing! Why does she have these privileges of doing whatever the hell she wants when she wants?! She may be hurting for not having a father, but that is no reason to allow her to walk all over you and treat you like dirt. Babying her bc of that has obviously not worked and it is time to be firm and take back control. Yes – she will fight back, but you can’t let her run your life…she is a minor and can get in trouble for running away. Do you have anyone in your family that can help keep her on lock down like when you have to work and stuff?
I agree with another poster – take time off from the boyfriend and be with your daughter – try things together…give her your attention which is what it seems she is fighting for.
I am sorry that you have to deal with an unruly teen as i know it breaks your heart, but you have to be tough for her sake.
im not a parent but i am a teen that was like this i am now 16 years old and i went through alot of the same things that you explained…i was doing alot of hard drugs, running away from home and i ended up catching a really serious charge and did 2years at the age of 13 in a detention fecilty and i didnt ever listen to my mom she is alot a single parent and had me and my brother really young. i also slept around alot with alot of boys and i later found out its because theres not father involved so we go out and look for love in all the wrong places and like the feeling of knowing a man figure cares even if its just for the night, your daughter is going to have to learn the hard way i had to learn the hard way. i wish i would of listened to my mom because i know i put her through hell and it sounds like shes doing the same to you..Im sorry to say but theres nothing else you can do. while i was going through court for my charge my mom brought it up to the judge that she couldnt control me and they placed me into a independant living home for girl and it changed my life, i now go to school dont do drugs and am a changed person at the age of 16. she wont know what she has untill its snatched away from her in the blink of an eye. hope this help and i wish the best for you and your family.
she is manipulating you. she says things to you to make you feel bad so she can justify her action> your problem is YOU, you let her do it, if the police come to your house while you let her and her friends smoke pot then your contributing to the delenqancy of a minor and your going to go to jail and loose everything you have . kick her out. let her friends take her in . you already let that happen they are just using your house, they dont care about you at all, and sorry but your kind of stupid for letting her break the law in your home. your a poor example of a parent. i tell you that as constuctive critasism, turn off your heart and turn on your headm in going to have my son if i had one whos 16 come over and do what she does in your house . break the law and your going to go to jail for letting my son do what your letting my daughter do. all her friends think your an idiot andf dont care. kick them all out get put her in jail, i would slop the shitt out of her when it first started when she was 9
send her to juvie or just lock her up somewhere. put bars on the windows, change the locks on the doors so that you have to enter a code to get in or out of the house. homeschool her, take a break from your boyfriend he shouldnt be top priority. dont give her a cell phone, get rid of the homephone, put surveillance cameras anywhere she might possibly escape, remove her door so she has no privacy, everytime she does something bad take something away, even things like her bed. get somebody to clean out everything and search for drugs and stuff she might have, dont keep alcohol in the house. take away her computer privelages, make sure its impossible for her to go on the internet. i could go on and on but basicaly just put her on lock down.
I’m sorry to hear your daughter is like that, it must be awful for you. What I suggest won’t be pleasant for either of you. If I had a child that acted like that, I would simply reinforce the windows in their room, take away all internet connections and phonelines and just lock them in their room until they realise what they’re doing is completely out of line. On any other occasion I wouldn’t even consider it but I don’t see any other option with your daughter. Her friends are clearly her influence so at all costs you should keep her away from them. When you’re speaking to her about how she acts etc. don’t get mad, don’t shout or anything. Just speak calmly, don’t get upset, and just take her behaviour in your stride. In saying that, I’m not saying act like her behaviour is alright, just don’t give her the reaction she may want when she curses you and your boyfriend and disrespects you both. That way, she won’t do it in the future.
I really really hope things work out for you both. Good luck.
Talk to a judge plead your case and get them to help you throw her in the military, not a boot camp program -the real military- since she has already proven she cannot be around any boys. I do believe once she is 16 you can sign her in, talk to a recruiter. Nothing will help but this if you have already tried rehab. It is either that or you have her thrown in juvie which I think would be a mistake, she would just learn more bad ways from being around other bad kids.
~Divine
Ok try talking to her give her some stuff she wants but don’t let her get spoiled and don’t let her out of the house. Get some medicine for her so that she doesn’t get out of control and don’t let her have sex or drink and when she goes to bed take her fake ID and but some Chill Pills in her drink her food but don’t let her know or for her to find out. If she gets upset or out of control either talk to her or just leave her in her room until she calms down and try to get a lock and put it on her door and cover her windows with wood lots and lots of wood and take every thing pointy out of her room. And start taking things that she likes away. And don’t let her get around her friends or those boys that’s she likes or want to have sex with put her on lock down.
WOW! Your daughter is so messed up! smoking pot! calling you a whore and cursing! arrested! a fake ID! going to clubs! blowjobs in bathrooms! making D’s and F’s! not doing homework! running away for 2 weeks and finding her with 3 other bays in an apartment! there are soooooooo many things wrong with this!
Take her to one of those things where you get “fake” arrested!