2011-09-07
In ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT / Tags: addict, alcoholic, children, durg, explain, Father, MARIJUANA, their /
Question by InSight: How do I explain to my children (9 and 13) that their father is an alcoholic and durg addict (marijuana)?
Best answer:
Answer by gunblast_thinkfast
Slip it into conversation on a fast fairground ride
What do you think? Answer below!
3 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
why should you? is he a big part of their lives? if it isn’t something that will effect them if they do NOT know, don’t tell them. if its obvious and you have to explain his bizzarre or selfish actions in some way just say, that “daddy is sick and he needs help…” which is what addiction is, an illness. he should go to a program or something, though i can say from personal experience that he marijuana is not a dangerous drug and is not addictive as alcohol or cigarettes are.
First of all, I am so sorry for your situation. Addiction is hard, and when you realize its not a choice to have an addiction, its hard to understand why it is happening to you. That is not to say that the children’s father doesn’t have to take responsibility, but I’m sure he would prefer NOT to be an addict. His actions, hopefully, will prove that.
In the mean time, give your kids credit. As a child, I HATED when my parents would try to sugar coat things for me. I knew what was going on before they even told me, most of the time. Lying to them about the situation will only make them ill-equipped for the real world–which doesn’t care how hard it is for them.
I would tell them the truth. You don’t need to go into detail. Telling them that daddy is doing drugs and drinking and needs help to stop, should be sufficient. Whatever you do, make sure you give them the time and space to deal on thier own, and to ask you questions about it. There are a lot of great resources online that help to explain adult problems to children. If you are having a hard time answering their questions, find someone who can.
Being an ex-addict myself, I can say that THE best thing my family ever did was to get into family counseling. Its awkward, uncomfortable, absolutely un-fun, and pretty expensive—but it is the one thing that helped me feel valued and understood enough to get better. It was how I learned that my family would listen to my words if I would stop trying to talk through my addictions.
Good luck, I pray it all goes very well.
Al-anon for teens might have tips–you can call them.
Sorry about the whole situation. Counseling also helps (you & the kids) with someone well-versed in addition.