2010-11-05
In ALCOHOLISM TREATMENT / Tags: alcoholic, children, deserts, Father, honour, Should, still, they, wife /
Question by April: If the father is an alcoholic and he deserts the wife and children, should they still honour him? ?
The Bible teaches that children are to honour their parents, but what if the father is an alcoholic and he deserts the wife and children? Should they still honour him?
Best answer:
Answer by No Jesus… No Chance
Forgiveness is the bullwark of our being. Because someone else is evil, that does not excuse us to be so.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
30 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
Yep. Even if he beats ‘em bloody.
It’s God’s will.
Amen.
respect him as a father yes none of us children approve of all our dads actions
forgive so that you can be forgiven
i believe honour has to be earned…he has not earned any, so no…but if he comes back, then yes.
yes always
scripture does not say “if or unless”
You described my dad perfectly but I still honnor him – as a good Christian role model should.
If a man were to murder some one you love–should you be friends with him? no–so if some ones father is a bad person–why should they honor him at all?—That kind of stuff is only saved for the TV and movies.
Hi April:
” and he deserts the wife and children.”
Then he is not the head of the family anymore as he has given up his position, so he should get the same respect as any other stranger one would meet.
God love you!
I would say that this father disqualified himself
You miss the phrase “…in the Lord”. Honor him in the Lord.
Nope….I think he would forfeit any honour we would normally receive because of his behavior.
Even Paul suggested that if bad behavior won’t change, dust off your feet and move on. (Paraphrased) Praying for the dad demonstrates honor. Living with abuse demonstrates stupidity.
Apparently, according to the Bible, fathers are even allowed to sell their daughters and punish them if they do not pleasure the men they sell them to, and must still be honoured.
Exodus 21:
21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.
21:8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.
Nice, eh.
Yeah, according to the bible. Why do you think so many Americans have so many mental problems? Anyone who sits there and tells a child that they must honor their parents no matter what because it’s god’s will is an idiot. If a father takes his son and molests him and beats him his whole life, and when the child protests he’s told, “Honor your father! It’s god’s will, and if you don’t than you’re sinning against the lord. Be a “good” christian.” how in the hell do you think that boy is going to grow up? His father tortures him his whole life, and his whole life he’s told to let it go and forgive him and “deal with it”. The idea of “two wrongs not making a right” have nothing to do with this situation. What will happen is the child will most likely grow up with a guilt complex, feeling he deserved what happened to him, that he’s bad (because he would undoubtedly at some point wanted to do something back to his father, but held it all in to be a “good christian”) and that his father is good because, well, he’s his father and that automatically means he deserves some form of respect. Later you can bet the farm that he’ll grow up with an inferiority complex and a rage problem, too, from spending so many years obeying his abusive father and not being allowed to speak up against it. People who grow up like this turn into the kinds of adults you find hanging from the rafters with a needle in their arm. Anyone who blindly supports this belief without exception is sick, and I don’t have any qualms in stating so. But…. what the bible says and what you should really do isn’t always the same thing, as most people understand (luckily).
I think we are to continue to love our parents and show respect toward them no matter what. If they are not living good lives, then I think we should pray for them… even if they are hurting us. An alcoholic is a mess of a person, but, it’s the alcohol that’s making them the way they are (for the most part), so it’s the alcohol you should despise, and not the person who is being controlled by it. All you can really do is try to do the right things to help that person get the help they need. And if they don’t get better, and even if they get worse, you should continue to love them and pray for them, because they are obviously helpless as long as they remain a prisoner to their addiction.
I am actually left wondering what your definition of Honor is in this case.
The fact that you are here because of both of your parents is enough for you to be thankful that they brought you into this world and you should be able to honestly honor both of them for that.
You do not need to honor them for things that they have not done or done in evil. You also do not need to take out an ad in the local paper accusing them of these misdeeds.
Honor is not about exaulting them, its about not seeking revenge also.
Hi, I think since you are asking in the religion section that you are possibly speaking about this in regard to the 10 commandment. If so here is what I will say. In the Bible it not only says honor your mother and father, but it says honor them “in the Lord”. This means you obey them so far as it is the same advice that God would give you. So it does not mean as some would say to honor them no matter what. You have to read the whole bible and just parts of it. So when the Bible says honor your parents it “the Bible” is presuming that you have good parents. Now to clear things up a little bit. There are many different ways to honor your parent’s and the specific way in which you are using it is not merely in obeying however “I believe” but in esteeming. So you are saying should we still esteem our father highly because obviously you are not talking about obeying since he is not around. The answer to that question is no. You should not esteem him or honor him what he did was dishonorable. A murderer, thief, adulterer, liar, and so forth they lose their honor because they have been shows to have bad character. However, there are other things that play in to this situation. Like mercy, forgiveness, love, and so forth. You have to look into your personal situation and discern and dicide. Has he repented? then forgive him. Was he just a weak man? then encourage him like Christ would a sinner. God gives grace to the humble and abases the proud. I hope you get what I am saying and that this has helped.
A father is a Father no matter what and need to respect him as a father and maybe not for what he is doing. Making more wrongs does not make things right and maybe by been nice will make him realise he needs to change
This man had no honor in himself, for becoming an alcoholic.
NO! He should NOT be honored by the ones he left to survive…if they could.
you can honor him, by omission.
Don’t talk bad about him.
Don’t tell anyone about the things he did.
We still must honor, those the commandment say we should. To do so, if to honor God himself. Do it for God.
Forget the Bible on this one. Alcoholism is an illness.
Of course you can’t honour someone like this.
What you can do is be there if they reach out to you, then find it in your heart to forgive.
When my father died, I said to a friend,”I always wanted a Daddy.”
The friend said that Holy Spirit whispered in her ear that my wanting a good daddy was the honor I gave to my father, I can’t put my finger on any Bible verse, but don’t struggle too much with this. Pray for your father once in awhile.
I was raised in a very strict religion.
some of the passages in the Bible are not to be taken ver batim
because they would contradict each other.
To err is human to forgive is divine
Honoring someone who has not honor is not something the God I was taught to believe in would ask.
Sometimes we have to just accept we are human and leave it at that.
On the day that Hell freezes over they can honor him …..and not a day sooner
Wow this is exactly what I personally faced and I must answer yes they still according to the Scripture honour him as father. This does not mean however you approve of his behavior.
My mother also was abusive however upon her death I honored her as such by burying her as she requested.
The honor asked by the Lord is not conditional. The scriptures state simply Exodus 20:12Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
More references: Nothing states that there is a condition based on how they treat you or the family.
Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Exodus 20:11-13 (in Context) Exodus 20 (Whole Chapter)
Deuteronomy 5:16
“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
Deuteronomy 5:15-17 (in Context) Deuteronomy 5 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 15:4
For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’ and ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’
Matthew 15:3-5 (in Context) Matthew 15 (Whole Chapter)
Matthew 19:19
Jesus replied, ” ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”
Matthew 19:18-20 (in Context) Matthew 19 (Whole Chapter)
Mark 7:10
For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.’
Mark 7:9-11 (in Context) Mark 7 (Whole Chapter)
Mark 10:19
You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’ ”
Mark 10:18-20 (in Context) Mark 10 (Whole Chapter)
Luke 18:20
You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’ ”
Luke 18:19-21 (in Context) Luke 18 (Whole Chapter)
Ephesians 6:2
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—
Ephesians 6:1-3 (in Context) Ephesians 6 (Whole Chapter)
DFF
In That Case, ‘Honor’ is just a ‘Word……;
Impossible to Love or Respect Him….!!
The bible says Jesus loves a sinner so if he can love the alcoholic father then we should follow his lead. But what if the father stays with his wife and children and beats the daughter without mercy should she forgive him and honour him? It is a hard one to deal with. Search your heart for guidance.
I would say yes, especially because alcoholim is an illness and not a sin, any way , yes.
no. screw religion. thats a bad father, you should not honor someone who abandons you. make sence?
My Ex is a recovering alcoholic. Now he is completely disabled, due to strokes.
He never moved away but he didn’t do anything for us either.
He now lives with me . My daughter and I take care of him.. All our daughters know his alcoholism is a disease. They all honor him.
forgive so that you can be forgiven