Question by dugman: Need advice with difficult parents, (alcoholism, inappropriate behavior,children involved)?
I am a middle aged man. My daughter, 10, and former wife would occasionally go to visit my parents house, to visit and cut Mom’s hair.
Last time it got ugly with grandpa crossing a line with a little too much affection with my daughter’s mother, he also would not let go of her. She also said that my daughter stated, quote”Grandpa was acting funny” When I attempted to contact my Mother via phone, he answered and said “stop being an A#$hole, goodbye” I assume he thinks I told my daughter’s mother not too go there any more but it was her decision. I do feel bad for my mother, but codependency and denial is rampant in that house; I don’t know what to do.
I am tired of the old mans behavior,smoking indoors, drinking to excess, age-innapropriate references; he has been difficult for years, and my daughter’s well being is my main priority as a parent.

Best answer:

Answer by Lee
I come an alcoholic family myself and I have a 6 year old son.
I didn’t have a choice as a child of the lifestyle I wanted to be raised around, but I make the choice for my son!
I divorced my family about 5 years ago for my son. They started treating him similar to the way I was. Right then and there I told myself, it won’t happen!
My son and I are happy today. All I’ve told him is that my family wasn’t so nice to me and I wanted to be the best mother for you, so I left that family.
He asks once in a while about stuff, but mainly how I was as a child. That’s why God gives us children, to find what we are made of and give them our all.
As I tell people, I left my “original” family to raise “my family”. In other words, “Give your child the childhood you never had!” Sometimes that means protecting them from their own grandparents.
That is the difference between love and loyalty. LOVE won’t keep their children in a place they are not safe. LOYALTY won’t want to offend someone, not thinking how they are hurting their own children’s spirit in the process.
My mom sobered when I was 7, but I remember everything! What kind of memories do you want your child to have?
You be the best dad you can be! If you have to give limited supervised visits or eliminate them, that is the best for the child!

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