Question by sara123: REHAB?????/!!!!!!!!?????????/?
This is the situation, my brother has started partying way way to much. He is 27 and has 3 kids and a wife. He goes out, does drugs, and doesn’t come home for days at a time. His wife has told him he is no longer allowed to stay at their house or see their kids until he gets some help. She wants him to go to rehab because this has been going on for 5+ months. My brother is debating on going but he says that he is not addicted to any certain drug and he only does them every now and then so he does not qualify for rehab. I think he is addicted to partying in general. Can you go to rehab for this or does it need to be a specific thing? Also my brother keeps calling her and asking if he can come by. She is sticking her ground and telling him no but she keeps asking me if she should let him or not.He has told her he has stopped doing drugs, but he has also told her this in the past. What do you think would help him the most? It is very hard on the kids not seeing him but it is even harder when he is there and then does not come back for days. ADVICE PLEASE. She keeps looking to me for support but I do not know what to say.
Best answer:
Answer by RoofingPrincess
She’s doing the right thing by keeping him out of the house and away from the children. No matter what substance he’s abusing (or what combination), he is not good for the kids.
Until a substance abuser decides he has a problem, he will probably not go for help – and he has to admit he has a problem, not just do it so he can see the kids, or do it to make someone else happy.
Denial is part of the problem.
There are surveys out there that help a person decide if they have a problem. This might be helpful: http://alcoholism.about.com/od/tests/l/blquiz_drug.htm
Give your answer to this question below!
3 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
There are rehabilitation facilities for individual addictions as well as general addictions and bad lifestyles, which it sounds he wound benefit greatly from. Being a 27 year-old man with three children, he should think of his family and not himself. It sounds like he needs a wake-up call, and I think that being kept away from his wife and children is the best thing for him. If she does let him come, then there is no reason for him to change! He gets what he wants. So, encourage her and let her know that this is the best. It is going to be incredibly tough, but if she does let him return, even just for a little while, it is going to make him lose any motivation to get help and will also make any potential separations in the future even more difficult.
If he sees that he could lose his family over this lifestyle, he might get his priorities straight. I would hope if he is partying and doing drugs he has a job, because those habits are not cheap. The only help you can provide him is support with a stern stance on him getting help and stopping these habits. If he doesn’t want to go to a rehab facility, there are rehabilitation counselors that specialize in these habits as well. Maybe he would be more comfortable talking.
Also, it COULD be beneficial if he went to counseling with his wife down the road, as there are going to be a LOT of issues that would greatly benefit from them both sitting down with someone. It really does help when there is an unbiased third person to talk with.
Good luck to you in these tough times, to your brother to have the strength to realize what is important in life, and to his wife and children to get through this. His wife and children do not deserve to be going through this. If he is not willing to change, then his wife may need to consider that he will not make a good husband or father. I know these things are incredibly tough.
She is doing the right thing, be her moral support and tell your brother there is help out there to check with AA, his children will suffer more in the long run by his actions, he needs to grow up and be a real man by being responsible or he will lose them. He is on a path to destruction, ask your brother ” do you want your wife to divorce you and take the kids from you and possible another man being their father in the future should she remarry or do you really love them and need your family more then the parting and drugs?” ask him to count the cost because his LifeStyle will have hefty consequences. He has to make that choice. Thank you for being there for her and her children, your a good person.
This is a perfect example of when you should get yourself checked into a rehab program. It sounds like your brother has a very serious problem and he’s lucky that you care so much for him.
You need to get him checked in asap into a rehab clinic. Depending on where you live it can be expensive but there are also some free ones too, but again it depends on where. A few free one’s I know about are listed here http://rehabclinics.info
Good luck and God bless you for being so caring