Question by Amelie: Why do some women lose their ability to protect their children?
My friend has two kids … she is not married to their father. The man she is married to beats her and calls her the worst possible things in front of her kids. (They are 11 and 14). He is an alcoholic and “rages”. I learned (through his own admission) that sometimes these rages are directed at my friend’s kids.
Of course, my friend won’t even consider leaving (prompting me and some of her other friends to consider an anonymous call to cps). Not only will she not leave, but she actually tells people he is a great stepfather. She had the audacity to write on facebook on Father’s Day, “Larry, thanks for being so good to my kids.” (Disgusting.)
Why do women like this have no capacity to protect their children?? I mean, adults are free to f*** up their lives however they choose, but her children have no choice.
Best answer:
Answer by sb015
call DSS. its the only way. in knowing about the abuse and not reporting it, YOU ARE AN ACCESSORY. if anything happened that resulted in one of theses three’s death (which happens quite a bit in this country) and an investigation was prompted, you could literally go to jail for not reporting it. Especially if you hold any professional licenses (it becomes law when you do have these licenses).
sorry to be so brutally honest, but that the truth in black and white!
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
13 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
She places her man to a high priority than her children. It is really all about her happiness and fear to be alone, therefore she downplays exactly how she is harming her children by being with this man, either that or she doesn’t really care. There are some mothers who will not have anything to do with their children, and choose to be with an abusive man.
There is a psychological problem
I don’t even know him and I want to tear his f-ing head off. I came from an abusive home and I hate to see that going on.
Well I think this examples differs from others. Abuse largely effects all involved and those being abused often become brain washed unto thinking they NEED the abuser.
As a friend you may want to make sure she knows you are supportive of her leaving and are willing to help if she needs it. As a person, you may want to make that call to CPS. You can do it anonymously.
They don’t “lose the ability”, they CHOOSE to give up the ability.
If you are TRULY her friend, you will call child services and report her. If SHE won’t protect her kids, then you have to! The children don’t deserve to live like this.
you need to stop worrying about your friend and start worrying about those kids. she chooses to stay w/ that jerk so please be a voice for those kids and do whatever you have to to save them. even if it costs you her friendship because she will more than likely take his side and defend him.
What so you mean by ” Beats” because if that means beating her up and cussing in front of the kids than you and your friends should abousloutly call the COPS!
Maybe he has treat her life or even her kids you don’t no what she is going through once the doors are closed. But if you are a true friend you keep trying to encourage her to get out and get out now. If not and see that it is getting worse than you have no choice but to call on her for the sake of the kids. So don’t have any family near by talk to them because I wouldn’t want her kids to end up in the system.
Don’t be naive about the situation. She’s allowing her children to be treated this way. I’d call CPS in a heartbeat. She’s just as much to blame as he is!
I myself was in a bad situation and it is not easy to leave. You have financial issues and you worry if you can afford to feed your kids. You think and weigh in your mind which situation can the kids be best taken care of. Eating, being clothed, and having a roof over your head comes before abuse does. I was scared to death when i decided to leave because i didn’t have any money, no food, and no roof over my head when i left. Ya some say hide and save money, but they always find it. He found mine. Calling CPS might be a good idea, but the best thing you can do to help is be supportive in EVERYWAY! I am sure she loves her kids so much, but when you have no place for them it feels worse to you. I pray that this helped a lot. Just help your friend and maybe provide a place to live and food till your friend can get a job and support her own self. Good luck and just remember that it is a very scarey situation that she is in right now.
You want to be a friend?
Offer her and her children a spare room in your house.
SHE NEEDS HELP. I LOVE SWEET MILDRED
There is no easy answer to this one, because in the midst of this abuse, she has lost herself. Those kids are at an age where what they learn will affect the type of spouse/partner/parent they will be one day, too.
I agree with the others, you have to be there for your friend, but as a person, step back and assess the situation. Can you talk to “Larry”? Tell him you will report him if he doesn’t get help?
You can make an anonymous call to Child Protective Services. They will investigate it and maybe that alone will help shape them up.
Gawd, this makes me sick! My children’s stepmother has tried her best to f*** up their lives, and in the process, she has alienated them from their dad. (Most likely her goal all along.) Thankfully, my kids have me and I’m pretty well grounded.
Geez….this makes warshing cars look like nothing.