Question by Amelie: Why do some women lose their ability to protect their children?
My friend has two kids … she is not married to their father. The man she is married to beats her and calls her the worst possible things in front of her kids. (They are 11 and 14). He is an alcoholic and “rages”. I learned (through his own admission) that sometimes these rages are directed at my friend’s kids.
Of course, my friend won’t even consider leaving (prompting me and some of her other friends to consider an anonymous call to cps). Not only will she not leave, but she actually tells people he is a great stepfather. She had the audacity to write on facebook on Father’s Day, “Larry, thanks for being so good to my kids.” (Disgusting.)
Why do women like this have no capacity to protect their children?? I mean, adults are free to f*** up their lives however they choose, but her children have no choice.
Best answer:
Answer by cosette
welcome to the world of children. no child REALLY has control over their lives they have no choice but to live the way their parents want them to. all them children can hope for is that they get good parents that are nice and caring but sometimes children get parents like that and there is nothing they can do about it.
What do you think? Answer below!
4 ResponsesLeave a comment ?
I do not think women ever loose it.
Evolution gave them some kind of maternal instinct to always have that ability.
Now if you asked why some women choose not to give a damn about their children, we might have been able to talk.
I have noticed that women do seem to often choose men over their children. Some of the notorious child murders have been about this (Susan Smith for eg). I can only imagine that they are weak women with rock bottom self esteem who are desperate to hold on to a man no matter what the cost. It is not uncommon for a woman to ‘disbelieve’ an allegation of sexual abuse made by her child about her partner – not because they actually disbelieve it but because they would rather protect the man.
I am not saying that your friend would go that far, but it does sound pretty bad, and I would say YES dob her in – if she is too weak to do something about him something STILL needs to be done.
I did not have a step father like that, but he was very verbally abusive and nasty to both me and my brother, and my mother did not seem to have a problem with it at all. My relationship with my mother has been very badly affected as a result. Tell your friend that the best she can hope for if she allows this to continue is that her children will end up hating her. Of course the worst is that he could seriously injure or harm one of her kids. If they are boys they may learn to treat women like that – if they are girls they could seek out a violent partner in the future. She really needs to wake up to reality.
I dont buy into the theory that women dont have a place to go if they leave their man – not in this day and age.
Generally speaking i think such women love their man-husband or boyfriend or whatever more than they do their children.
Look at the recent case out of Ohio. A woman starts dating a child rapist/sexual predator days after he was released from prison, to top it off she has a 4 year old daughter. They both run off together along with her kid. And yes, she knew every bit about his history.
Don’t worry about an answer to your question — you won’t get a rational one because she is not behaving rationally. You clearly have a problem with what’s going on, but you don’t want to confront your friend with it or make her mad at you.
So screw it. Call CPS. If you’re not comfortable with that, call the kids’ school and tell their counselor or school nurse that they might want to talk to the kids about it. Or write an anonymous letter to the school or CPS. Do SOMETHING to see that the kids get some help. I don’t like CPS much, but damn, they belong in this mess. You’ll never forgive yourself if someone gets hurt and you have done nothing.